Summertime Social and Emotional Learning

Summer is upon us, and, it is a paradox.  Summer is a time of change.  It can feel like freedom and relaxation, and can also feel like a hardship.  Regardless of what your day to day responsibilities are, when your children’s schedules change, so does yours. Whatever your personal family situation, many challenging aspects of the summer season are real. At the same time, change also presents opportunities. 

Let’s pause a moment and consider some summer practices that can support overall family wellness.  This season is an opportunity for your children to grow their social and emotional skills.  Looking forward, if we focus even some effort on this now, it will have great benefits later.  Here are a few ideas to support children in building and practicing social and emotional skills. These ideas can be integrated into daily routines, and don’t have to feel like a big lift for you. In these moments and through these routine activities, children's skills grow and strengthen.

Independence: For young children, summer is a great time to practice doing things on their own and for themselves.  Learning to zip, button, use velcro fasteners, and tie things helps them dress themselves, take care of belongings like their backpacks, and get their shoes on and off.  Going to the bathroom independently and practicing all aspects of bathroom hygiene are quite helpful, especially for those transitioning from early childhood environments to kindergarten.  Summer is a fantastic opportunity to help older children set up organizational systems to track activities, homework, and daily responsibilities.  Consider summer as a time to transition from parental oversight and “doing for”  to independence and “doing by themselves”.   

Chores/projects: Helping around the house with chores or projects is a great way to build skills centered on cooperation, collaboration, communication and responsibility.  All of these are life- long skills that transfer to school life and beyond.  Do your children have regular jobs at home?  Are there any summer projects like organizing and cleaning out drawers, clothing, closets, or the garage?  Children as young as 2-3 are capable and competent, and love to engage in real work.  Even young children can help with jobs such as cleaning up after themselves, helping set tables, and putting dirty laundry in designated places.

Emotional regulation:  Every child has their good days, and their challenging days. Entering into a new class or school can provoke unexpected emotions.   Summer is a great time to work with your child on emotional regulation.  What are one or two strategies they can use and practice when they are feeling big emotions?  You might read books with your kids on the subject of “cool down”, and help them choose a few strategies to practice. Emotional regulation skills are key for every age. Mindfulness practices are also  beneficial for all ages. 

Here’s a few good resources for elementary aged children:

Books about How to Handle Big Emotions/Cool Down

Anh's Anger by Gail Silver

When I Feel Angry by Cornelia Maude Spelman

When Sophie Gets Angry, Really, Really Angry by Molly Bang

When Miles Got Mad by Sam Kurtzman-Counter

Mindfulness practice in calm moments can help with emotional regulation.  There are activities such as yoga for children; apps for mindfulness moments, and guided meditations (stories you read to them while they relax or stories that are on tape). There are many examples of all of these activities available on the internet.

I like this website:

https://www.greenchildmagazine.com/free-meditation-guided-relaxation-scripts-kids/

Apps for children:   Here are some I like in this article

https://www.parents.com/health/healthy-happy-kids/5-mindfulness-and-meditation-apps-for-kids/

Finally, I acknowledge that summer is different than when I was a child, and even from when my children were young.  Presently, it seems like many children have access to more activities, more technology, more camp experiences, and, simply put, more of everything.  At the same time, I challenge all of us to think about this: can we still preserve a little summer like the “good old days?” One doesn't have to go anywhere to experience the simplicity and presence of summertime. We can all benefit from experiencing less. Our children grow up quickly. Presence is hard, and also necessary. Indeed, it is through our daily presence with our families where authentic opportunities exist in every moment for everyone's social and emotional growth.

So, here’s to your families and your summer! I hope that it has some time in it for laziness, free play, reading a good book, unscheduled time, swimming in the water somewhere, eating watermelon, spending time with friends and family, and maybe even a long ride in a car with real paper maps.